Chaos Theory
by deus ex caeli
Summary: Sho/Joshua. Sho Minamimoto had always been the outcast. When Joshua steps into his life, the world as he knows it will change forever. But as Sho begins to spiral out of control, was it really for the better? Begins before the Game, kinda AUish. Spoilers!
1. the angel appears

"Hey! Over here, math dweeb!"

Sho Minamimoto hesitantly turned around, a stack of college-level math textbooks piled in his arms. Adjusting his trademark thick-framed glasses and his baggy cargo pants, Sho averted his eyes from the gang of ruffians. School was out for the day, but this particular group made it a habit to remind him of how lowly he was before he headed home.

_Why can't they just leave me alone? _Sho thought bitterly to himself. Their insults bounced right off of him, as he had heard them all before more times than he cared to count.

Dork. Geek. Nerd. Loser. It was no secret that he was the school joke, shunned by everyone for what his teachers had coined "an unhealthy interest" in the field of mathematics. They didn't understand – no one did – but that suited him fine. Numbers wouldn't laugh at him, call him names, or treat him like an outsider. He was always welcome in their mysterious world, and for that reason alone every free moment he had was spent buried in page upon page of equations. He liked all kinds, solving each with equal fervor. Numbers were his life, and he preferred to keep it that way; social interaction was just a pointless tangent, with little to no benefit at all.

And this encounter was proving especially nasty. They surrounded him like a pack of wolves hunting their defenseless prey.

"Where's that math assignment you promised us, pi face?"

"Yeah! Mine was due a week ago!"

"It's not like you're busy doing anything else!"

"Hahaha!"

Sho whimpered upon colliding with the floor, throwing his wiry arms up to shield himself from the flying punches and kicks. He screwed his eyes shut and began to mutter the quadratic equation under his breath, a distraction he often used in painful situations.

"Get up! You're such a wuss!" the leader of the bullies mocked him. Sho winced with each merciless blow to the gut, curling tighter into his protective ball. The other students passing by either shook their heads or cheered his attackers on. Nobody did anything to help, leaving him bloody and bruised after the bullies had finally lost interest. Shuddering, Sho wiped the tears from his dull golden eyes, pondering his predicament.

_I barely even look at them! Why do they have to be such jerks? Sometimes I wish they'd just—_

"Disappear?"

Enchanted by the melodic, but foreign voice, Sho lifted his head. Standing above him was a smiling silver-haired boy, his pale hand outstretched to Sho.

"I wish that I could do that sometimes, too," the boy confessed. "Come on. Why don't we get you cleaned up? The restroom's right around the corner."

Sho didn't quite know what to say. Slowly, he sat up, reaching for the hand. His own quivered midair, uncertain of whether or not to trust the captivating stranger. He only smiled wider. His misty gaze seemed to reflect a gentle heart.

"I promise I won't hurt you," the boy gave his word. Something inside of Sho believed him. Still silent, he nodded in his detached style, grasping the inviting hand. An abrupt jolt ran the length of his spine at contact. Sho shivered, but dismissed the strange sensation. For reasons unknown, he felt his trust bubbling back to the surface. The presence of the boy eased him, and for that much he was grateful.

"My name is Yoshiya Kiryu, but I go by Joshua," he said as he pulled Sho onto his feet. "And what about you?"

Sho said nothing, staring at his beaten white tennis shoes. He walked beside Joshua down the hall, content to listen rather than speak.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me just yet. I know how cruel they've been to you. I'd intervene if I could, but…"

Sho's eyes shot to Joshua's face. His mouth hung agape, trying to form words of thanks, but in the end he couldn't find the courage. Joshua chuckled, his laughter akin to silk.

"Yes, really. Unfortunately, I'm not built for… physical confrontation, per se. But I do know a thing or two when it comes to mental jousting. Or at least I'd like to think so."

Joshua winked at Sho. Sho smiled shyly in return, edging a bit closer to his new found companion. He radiated a constant warmth, one that Sho was inexplicably drawn to. He didn't question it like his more logical side would've done, following Joshua into the restroom. He pulled up a rusty stool from the corner and prompted Sho to sit in front of the sink. Joshua dug around in his pocket for his handkerchief, wetting it under the faucet. He offered light conversation as he cleaned Sho's wounds with care.

"I hear you're quite a fan of numbers. I share a certain fondness for them myself. To me, there's nothing more satisfying than working your way through a difficult problem and achieving the correct solution. But what I like most is that there's no ambiguity when it comes to math. The answers are always straightforward and always absolute. It's too bad the same can't really be said for people."

His tone was remarkably pleasant considering that most people who confronted him over his mathematical fixation did so only to tease him about it. The thought of meeting someone his age that shared his interests excited him. And it was true, what he said; math just made sense, whereas socializing ended up a guessing game more often than not.

"You like… you like math?" Sho piped up at last. His voice carried an involuntary tremble, a true sign of how withdrawn he had become. Joshua nodded.

"You're not alone by any means. As a whole, mankind is naturally fearful of what it doesn't understand. Math can be challenging for the average person to wrap their mind around, hence why they have trouble wrapping their mind around you. It's basic logic," he concluded his explanation with his infectious grin. Sho was baffled at how easy Joshua made things understandable, things that he struggled to come to terms with for years.

"I'd never thought of it that way," Sho admitted. "You're zetta amazing, Joshua! Uh… I mean… you're pretty amazing."

"Zetta, huh?" Joshua laughed. Immediately Sho felt his heart sink. "Ah, no! It's not like that at all! I find it pretty clever, actually. 24 zeroes, right?"

"Y-yeah!" Sho exclaimed with unprecedented enthusiasm. "No one's ever gotten it before! That's so cool of you!"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. Hm… I don't think this stain's going to be coming out…"

Joshua motioned to the blotch of blood on his black-and-white sweater vest. Sho frowned.

"Father gave this to me before he left for America," he said quietly, fingering its fraying threads. Joshua thought a moment, then reached into his breast pocket, revealing a shiny black pin bearing an intricate insignia.

"I collect them," Joshua supplied. He leaned over and stuck the pin directly on the stain, covering it up entirely. He smiled triumphantly. "There! How does that look?"

Intrigued, Sho touched the pin. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, and drew in a sharp breath, "Wow!"

"It really suits you. It's one of my favorites, but I have more than enough of them at home. It's yours to keep. I think it matches rather well, too."

True, it was a bit odd to wear a sweater vest and a pin together. But if Joshua liked it…

"Thank you," Sho said. "I really… appreciate it. Everything."

Joshua dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Think nothing of it. Let's hang out some other time, alright? I've got some business to attend to this afternoon."

"Hang out? Really?" Sho felt like he was in a dream. He contemplated pinching himself, just to see if he would wake up.

"Of course, silly," Joshua giggled. Sho noticed his eyes sparkled when he laughed like that. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Sho was on the verge of tears for the second time that day, now for a completely different reason. He nodded vigorously, his features lighting up with genuine joy.

"Right! Friends!"

"See you around," Joshua waved, turning to leave. Sho grabbed for his wrist before he was out of sight, halting him in place.

"Ah! Wait!"

"Yes?"

Sho mimicked his wide smile. "It's Sho! Sho Minamimoto!"

"What a lovely name," Joshua said softly, sauntering over. Guiding a finger to Sho's lips, he traced their upward curve, his expression devious. "And an even lovelier smile."

Sho blushed in reply, once again at a loss for words. He staggered outside shortly after Joshua's departure, and floated on a cloud all the way home.

**to be continued**


	2. the angel reveals

"So that makes him the seventh Reaper you've scouted, hasn't it?"

"Correct. He should be here shortly. All I need now are the test subjects for the preliminary round, and the Game is set to begin."

Joshua leaned back in his chair, sipping on the steaming cup of coffee blissfully. He directed a grateful smile at his companion.

"Sanae, you really do make the best coffee. What's your secret?"

The man on the opposite end of the table chuckled. He was clean-cut and clean-shaven, looking no older than perhaps his early twenties. His attire was comprised simply of a white dress shirt, with an equally professional black vest and matching pants. Even indoors, a pair of dark shades rested on his nose, adding an air of mystery to him.

"C'mon now, Josh. I thought you said you'd call me Hanekoma. Besides, a true master of the brew never spills his secrets."

He giggled flirtatiously, swirling a finger around in the murky liquid. "Well, if you get to address me as Josh, why don't I get the same privilege?"

Hanekoma tensed up and scratched a nervous finger behind his ear. Joshua always did this to him. Of course, it didn't help that he fell for his teasing every time. "Eh… it's just that when I look this old, people are going to think it's a little weird."

"You think our relationship is weird?" Joshua said with feigned sorrow. Theatrically he rose from his chair, turning away while bringing a hand over his eyes. "Sanae-chan, how could say such hurtful things?"

"S… Sanae-chan?!" Dammit, now he was blushing! How the hell was he supposed to respond to _that_? "That's even worse! And since when did we have a relationship?"

Joshua dropped his hand to reveal a terrifying deadpan expression. "You know you shouldn't jump to conclusions, Sanae-_chan_."

Hanekoma almost envied the boy. All of his emotions were so carefully controlled. He could wear any mask he wanted to without missing a single beat, and switch to another at a moment's notice. Every move and every word was calculated down to the very last syllable. Most humans he'd encountered wore their hearts on their sleeves and blurted out whatever came to mind.

But then again, Joshua didn't exactly fit into the category of "most humans", and neither did he.

Still, the boy was pushing his luck.

"Maybe you shouldn't be making such suggestive impli…"

Hanekoma's sentence was abruptly cut off when Joshua deemed it appropriate to plop himself down on his lap, accompanied by an innocent slurp from his cup. He leaned shakily in the other direction to put some space between them.

"You were saying?" Joshua sung cheerily, looking at the floundering Hanekoma from the corner of his eye. He should've known better than to test his limits.

"J-Josh… not right now…"

"That's quite different behavior from yesterday. Why the change in mood?"

"Josh," he warned, "you know what's gonna happen if you keep at it like that."

"I don't, actually," Joshua was rather fond of playing innocent, Hanekoma noted. "Care to enlighten me? By the way, is that a _spray can_ in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Joshua drew his face close, his eyes alight with mischief. His companion swallowed thickly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. Joshua was poised to swoop in for the kill when footsteps echoed from a nearby room.

Sho, strongly resembling a deer in headlights, walked into the massive foyer, his neck craning and swiveling all over the place.

"I've never been in a mansion before," he said breathily to himself. "I can't believe he lives here! So zetta radical!"

"He's a little slow on the uptake, isn't he?" Hanekoma muttered. Joshua nodded, then gave a loud, intentional clear of his throat.

"Dad, please take your medicine," Joshua quickly reverted to his childlike persona in Sho's presence. He lifted his ceramic cup to Hanekoma's lips. Hanekoma opened his mouth to object, dealing unknowingly into Joshua's hands. He promptly dumped the cup of hot coffee down his throat, wearing his usual victorious smirk.

"Ulk! Hot! Hot!"

"Oh, hello there, Sho," Joshua finally greeted his visitor. He hopped off of Hanekoma (who continued to clutch his scalded throat and gurgle hysterically) and joined Sho by the doorway. "Have you been here long? I apologize I didn't get to you sooner. My butler neglected to inform me of your arrival."

Sho shook his head. "It's okay. But you never told me your house was a mansion! It feels like it's a privilege to be here."

"I like to keep my living arrangements on the… oh, hey _dad_, what do they say around here again?"

"Down low," Hanekoma coughed, glaring daggers in his direction. Joshua pretended not to notice.

"Right, I like to keep it on the down low. Don't want anyone vandalizing my property or something similarly unscrupulous."

"Yeah, I totally get that." Sho shifted anxiously on his feet. "So, did you… have something in mind? I've never actually hung out before…"

Joshua smiled and hung an arm over his shoulder. "Not to worry. I actually have something upstairs I'd like to show you, if you don't mind."

"Not at all! What is it?"

"It's not going to be a surprise if I tell you now! You'll see when we get there."

Still holding onto Sho, he began guiding him up the circular staircase. He cast a backwards glance at Hanekoma, grinning.

"Screw you," he mouthed angrily, flashing him a certain hand gesture.

"Love you too," Joshua mouthed right back. He blew him a kiss right before disappearing on the floor above. Hanekoma heaved a built up sigh, smoothing out his hair.

"One of these days," he swore under his breath, "One of these days…"

- - - -

The room Joshua shepherded him into was relatively small compared to the others he had seen. From appearances alone, it was a just a library, granted an impressive one. The huge oaken bookcases reached to the ceiling, their shelves lined with novels, encyclopedias, and assorted texts. At the end of the room was a tall rectangular object, obscured by a dusty beige blanket.

Sho spotted the math section within seconds of entering. Like a kid in a candy store, he toddled towards it, gasping in his own dorky delight.

"The origins of chaos theory?! I've been looking for this particular volume for ages! Where did you find this?"

"I have my sources. It's definitely one of my favorite subjects," Joshua remarked, strolling over to the book and plucking it from the shelf. "Trying to find order in a disordered world… it's a bit of a paradox, isn't it?"

As Sho was absorbed in his fantasy world, Joshua's features darkened ever so slightly. Eyes averted off to the side, he said softly to him, "But what if I told you there was a way to accomplish such a thing?"

"That's impossible," Sho quipped. "There have been instances and experiments where a recognizable pattern emerged, but there's no way to entirely prove it. It's just assumed because there's no other logical explanation. It's chaotic by its very nature, as the name suggests."

"Excuse me for saying so, but I believe you are missing the point, Sho," Joshua placed a hand upon Sho's current selection of _Quantum Mathematics and You._ "Tell me honestly. What do you think of your life right now?"

"Well… I guess it's okay," Sho reluctantly withdrew from his math mode. "I mean, I get bullied and stuff, but I'm alright with that. As long as I have numbers, there's nothing I can't endure."

"Ah, but the world is made up of numbers, my friend, and you mixed in along with them. You are merely one in a great and endless sea. You, like everyone else, are struggling to find your order."

"That's what it means to be alive, isn't it? Everybody struggles in the same way. I'm not special or anything."

_What is he getting at? _Sho peered at Joshua with a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty. Joshua picked up on this as if possessing a sixth sense. He replaced his book on the self, and gently curled his fingers around Sho's open hand. A familiar embarrassment tinted his face red. Joshua's voice fell to a smooth whisper.

"I'm tired of the struggle, aren't you? I can eliminate all that distortion from the equation entirely. When the disorder is gone, all that's left is your own perfect self, free from outside interference. It's truly a wonderful world."

"How?" Sho stuttered, more desperately then he would've thought. "How can you just rewrite the rules like that? What you're talking about, it's like another dimension!"

"It is," he affirmed with a telling smile. "Sho, what I'm about to reveal to you is not to leave this room. Understand?"

That uneasiness in his chest was starting to grow bigger. Yet, in Joshua's unbelievable promise, Sho found something he hadn't seen in a long time: hope.

"Okay," he replied with an affirmative nod. Filing his book away alongside Joshua's, he let the boy tug him towards the forgotten object in the back. Joshua broke off from him – Sho immediately noticed how cold his hand was lacking Joshua's – and with a few sharp jerks, pulled the blanket from its concealed treasure. Sho gaped.

"It's huge!" he exclaimed at the towering mirror in front of him. Bordered by a charcoal-colored material, the mirror was glossier than expected. It was an amazing spectacle, but he felt strangely dizzy when up close to it. Come to think of it, its presence was a lot like Joshua's.

"As you may have guessed, this is no ordinary mirror," Joshua detailed. "If you focus enough look into it, you see your reflection as you truly want it to be."

"Perfect, in other words?" All Sho saw was a scrawny geek with scraggly hair and a serious fashion malfunction. Was his acne _really _that bad?

"Indeed. Your ideal self. Care to give it a try?"

"It's not going to hurt me, is it?"

Joshua suppressed a laugh. "It's only a mirror, Sho."

_If that were true, you wouldn't have said what you did, _he thought suspiciously. But after Joshua had extended the hand of friendship to Sho, it would only be rude to refuse.

"Alright. What do I have to do?"

"Just close your eyes and concentrate. Think of everything you don't like about yourself. Think of how you would change it, and the mirror will take care of the rest."

He sucked in a deep breath to steady himself. _Alright, here goes nothing…_

For starters, he could use a better hair cut. Maybe some cool spikes like all the popular kids had. Next, a better tan wouldn't hurt; and what about a set of awesome contacts, too? He definitely needed more exercise if he wanted to look the proper part. In addition, he could stand to grow a few more inches. And a tattoo was just the epitome of badass! A black one, like a flame… yeah, that'd be perfect!

His droopy clothes had to go as well. A bandana would go nicely with a brand new cap, and if he remembered correctly, those stylish miniature trenchcoats were still in season. Everyone was wearing those rough jeans lately, the ones with all the holes in them. A shiny pair of boots would compliment his look nicely. He couldn't forget what the preppy crowd referred to as "bling", either. Gold was tacky, but silver would do the trick for sure. A necklace and some bracelets, perhaps?

"Do you have the image in your head now, Sho?" Joshua asked. He nodded silently. "Now, funnel all of your energy into making it real. _Become_ that person. You can do it."

Sho clenched his fists and dug his heels into the floor. Heavy stress lines appeared on his forehead as he gritted his teeth and growled. He could feel the nails in his palm, but he wanted this, more than anything in the world.

_I'll show them, _he vowed._ I'll show all of them! I'm not just a geek… I'm Sho! Sho Minamimoto!_

"That's exactly who I am!" he proclaimed, with all of his heart and soul. The pin on his chest shined in response, bathing the room in an encompassing glow. Joshua smirked, observing the results of his experiment. Hanekoma had pegged this kid right from the beginning. His Imagination was almost beyond belief. If there ever would be a perfect candidate for a Reaper, it was him without a shadow of a doubt.

"Open your eyes, Sho," he said. With a moment's hesitation, Sho cracked them open… and stood star struck at his reflection.

It was everything he had pictured, and more. The Sho in the mirror was a tall, well-built, and foreboding figure. His eyes were an intense shade of gold with feral slits for pupils, and his ashen hair fell in jagged bangs around his tanned face. An ebony flame consumed his right hand, its tail flickering up his arm.

Wardrobe-wise, he looked somewhat like a punkish thug. A black cap covered his head, with silver pins clipped on the bottom and along the visor. A vibrant red bandana was tied around the back. His coat, also black, featured a high, flared collar, and trailed down over his waist. His buckled leather belt was loose and allowed to hang off to the side. His gray pants were torn nearly everywhere, their legs stuffed into pointed boots that only added to his impressive height. A chain necklace and coordinated bead bracelets completed the outfit.

While Sho remained stunned into silence, Joshua glanced over the reflection, his brow rising in approval. He knew that Sho was creative, but he wasn't aware that his creativity was so… disturbingly attractive.

"Very nicely done," Joshua complimented him with a round of applause. Sho could hardly believe his eyes.

"That's… that's me?!" Stammering was about as much as he could manage at this point, staring into perfection incarnate.

"Of course that's you. The inner you, anyway. But let me show you something even more intriguing."

Joshua stepped in front of the mirror. He knocked on the glass expectantly. Shockingly, the reflection moved out of its frozen state to regard both of them with a sneer.

"You rang, radians?" the reflection Sho spoke up. His confident form of dress was matched by his confident form of speech. No stuttering, no trembling, no fear - just a young man ready to take on whatever stood in his way.

Sho's expression burst from shock into crazed fascination. He hurried to the mirror, touching his hand to his living, breathing reflection. "This is zetta unreal! I look so… cool!"

The reflection scoffed at him, stuffing a hand in his pocket. "That's a no brainer. Hey, little radian!"

It eyed Joshua and barked, "What's my probability of departure? Sitting around in this pathetic polygon zetta bytes. I need some acceleration already."

"Soon," he told Sho's impatient twin. "So, Sho. What do you think?"

"I think I'm in love," Sho gushed. His reflection cringed.

"Well, that's zetta creepy…"

"In the world I mentioned earlier, that is who you would be. And you wouldn't be alone. There are other people just like you inside of it, waiting for you."

"Waiting for me? You mean…"

"They want to be your friends, Sho. Everyone there does. You can be whomever you want and do whatever you want. It's all up to you. The world begins – and, consequently, ends – with you."

"Who are you?" Sho asked in amazement, now forever enthralled by this godlike figure. "How is this – how is _any _of this even possible?"

"Imagination," Joshua replied simply. "If you dream it, you can achieve it. Fantasy can be reality if you open your mind to the idea of it. Only those with imagination can accomplish what you just did, Sho. You said you weren't special, but you are. You believe in things others don't. That's why you belong in this world – in the Game."

The possibilities were racing through his mind, his disbelief totally suspended. Friends! _Real _friends! And could he really do anything he wanted? He could fly, he could impress everyone, and he could fight_ back_! He'd love to see those bullies try to harass the Sho in the mirror. Everything, everything was too good to be true, but now that he had seen it, there was no way he could return to his old life.

"Please, I'll give anything," Sho fell to his knees in front of Joshua, begging him. "I want to go there! I want to be _him_! I want to be…"

He quivered all over, smiling a pitiful smile. "I want to be happy. Don't leave me here like this. You can't. You just can't!"

"Groveling like a miserable digit is _so_ not my vector," the reflection Sho grumbled, but it went unheard. Joshua kneeled to Sho's level, drawing their hands together.

"I would never think of doing something like that to you," he whispered. "I saw you battered and bruised on that floor, and I only wanted to help you. Help you find yourself. Help you be happy. All you have to do is let me in."

"Joshua," Sho cried, throwing his arms around his angel and savior. Joshua held him tightly as he sobbed his name over and over. "Joshua… Joshua…"

"Shh," he calmed him. He rubbed Sho's back, shifting his other hand into his pocket. "It'll be alright…"

Ecstatic to the point of tears, Sho didn't notice the cold steel pressed up against his head, nor the resounding click that followed. Joshua stroked his hair, and muttered softly into his ear.

"I'll see you on the other side… Sho."

The shot rang out loud and clear, echoing through the room and down the hall. Stone-faced, Joshua shoved the lifeless body aside. Blood, there was always so much blood… he hated that part of it, but it was unavoidable. The crimson stream leaked from the hole, staining the carpet beneath. It mixed with the tears still trailing down Sho's cheeks and tainted the eccentric grin frozen forever on his lips.

"So, when you are going to tell him?" The reflection Sho was already beginning to dematerialize, along with the cold remains of its owner.

"He'll find out in due time," Joshua said, heading for the doorway. "as will everyone else."

The reflection Sho grinned like a demon straight out of hell – and perhaps he was – before throwing his arms out at his sides and cackling like a madman. When the insane laughter finally stopped, the room was empty, bodies and all.

**to be continued**


	3. the angel deceives

It was a dream.

None of this was real. None of that searing pain in his head, that terrifying falling sensation, those flashbacks that trumped his greatest nightmares – it didn't actually exist.

_Freak! Stay away from us!_

Voices. Many voices. Yet they all sounded the same. Where were they coming from?

Where was Joshua? Why did it hurt so much? Where was that glorious reflection now? No doubt shattered into dust, along with the promise of a world that welcomed him with open arms.

_We don't want you! Get back!_

Forget Joshua. Where was _anybody_? The ground had vanished beneath him; the imaginary sky above twisted into an ever-shifting spectrum of black and blues, a bruise on his cloudy vision; each and every feeling had been stolen from him, funneled into the throbs, amplifying them to an excruciating level.

_But he can't help it. That's just the way he is. The way he's always been._

Always been a loner, always been too far away to touch them. It's like they lived somewhere else entirely, somewhere he wasn't allowed to go. It was enough to make him scream.

In fact, he was screaming. The flashbacks just kept repeating themselves in his head like a horror movie. He was on his knees, hands clamped around his head, screeching at the top of his lungs. Everyone was gathered around him, pointing and laughing.

_Look at him! He's pathetic!_

_What's the matter, can't you fight back?_

_You'll never be like us!_

_Stop trying!_

_Stop—_

"Stop it!" his voice came out strangled. He screamed again and again and again. If only it would end! "God, just _stop!_"

They grew to monstrous heights, warping into the true demons they were. They batted and prodded him with their twisted claws, hissing their hungry lust. Living shadows, conjured from pure darkness, born to torment him into oblivion.

_It's alright, Sho, _one tried to coo to him. Instead, it sounded like an angry growl.

_Just let us help you, _begged another. Yet again, a devil in disguise.

_You'll make friends! It was only the first day—_

_There are so many left—_

_And you get to live them all!_

"No! Don't make me remember this!" Sho pleaded, doubling over. "Don't make me remember! They were all against me from the _start! _I saw their faces! They set me up! _They lied to me!_"

Smiling, he exited the lunch line with his tray in tow. He swiveled his head in search of a place to sit. Meandering his way over to an empty spot, the group of students already gathered there turned and gave him a collective glare.

"You can't sit here."

Why couldn't he play tag, too? He was pretty good, but everyone grumbled and shuffled inside when he joined in.

Everyone got a cookie but him. How was that fair? He cried. They just made fun of him even more.

He sat at the table alone. The candles on his cake were starting to melt. The music – the newest track from Japan's hottest rock group – was blaring almost desperately in the background. No tower of presents, no laughter, no joy was to be found anywhere.

He must've sent out at least twenty invitations.

As the memories piled up, Sho shrunk back further and further. The shadows followed him, their warmth circling his body.

_So ugly, weren't they?_

_Hideous! They didn't understand you!_

_But we do._

_We can get rid of all those unpleasant things you call "memories"._

Sho peeked out from the legs drawn snug to his chest.

"Really?" Why did he always have to whimper? He really _was _pathetic.

_Of course. Why would we deceive you?_

_We can make you into anything you want._

_You can be like you've always imagined._

_All you have to do is give up your identity._

_For your identity…_

…_is what is most precious to you, is it not?_

Sho nodded. Anything to escape this hell. "It's what's… most precious to everyone, right?"

_But for you especially._

_Without this identity, you would never be the person you are today._

_Your memories… your appearance… your life._

_That is what comprises your identity._

_It is the soul of all things._

_Yours is special. The potential within it…_

_Allow us to unlock it!_

_Surrender your identity, Sho Minamimoto!!_

What little sanity he still possessed was warning him against trusting the malevolent creatures. It was merely a ploy to further their own warped goals, whatever they happened to be. Take a deep breath, settle down, and focus. That was the more rational way to handle this.

He would've taken that advice, too, had his perfect reflection not appeared in front of him that same moment.

"Little radian," it said gently. "Please don't cry. Why don't you pair up with me? We can rock the world 'til infinity plus one! All you have to do is…"

_Repeat after us._

His reflection had him brainwashed from the second the words left his lips. He mouthed their hypnotic mantra robotically.

"Yes. I will."

_I am no longer Sho Minamimoto._

"I am no longer Sho Minamimoto."

_I will enter this Game under the sole and absolute authority of the Composer._

"I will enter this Game under the sole and absolute authority of the Composer."

Who cares if what he was saying didn't make any sense? All he wanted to obtain was his beautiful reflection. Everything else was moot.

_I will moderate the Game according to his rules and his law._

"I will moderate the Game according to his rules and his law."

_My entry fee is thus—_

The verbatim served a well-timed distraction from his reflection gradually slipping into his body.

"My entry fee is thus—

_The whole of my identity from the RG._

"The whole of my identity from the RG."

_Should I disobey these terms in any way, I will be subject to immediate erasure._

"Should I disobey these terms in any way, I will be subject to immediate erasure."

_To you, Composer, I deliver my binding contract._

"To you, Composer, I deliver my binding contract."

_I am yours to use as you see fit._

"I am…"

His eyelids were drooping, his throat going numb. Breathing was becoming a bother, so he stopped fighting off the encroaching suffocation.

His reflection was gone. He could hear the heartbeat in his hears, slowing, slowing, and then…

_Sho… Sho!_

Nothing.

His world went black.

- - - -

"Sho! Answer me, Sho!"

The first thing he noticed was that he was not alone.

"Thank goodness… I was starting to think you wouldn't wake up. Kariya, fetch me some water."

"You got it, boss."

"Hey, how come he gets all the special treatment? I was like that awhile back, too! B-but… for some reason, I can't remember why…"

"You wouldn't remember what you ate for breakfast if your life depended on it, Uzuki."

"What was that, blondie?!"

"People, people, please. The Composer is growing agitated."

"Indeed. His lord Composer has missed his afternoon tea."

"Oi, ram crotch, it's 'cause you people wouldn't stop bitchin' for two seconds! Give the kid some air."

"Says the guy who makes his living screaming incoherently into a microphone…"

"H-hey, you leave my mic outta this!"

"Silence," Joshua commanded. This quieted them instantly. "You all know better than to heckle a fellow Reaper. Wait outside for now. I'll join you in a bit."

"Rea… per?"

Sho rubbed at his eyes, shifting in Joshua's arms. He sat up on the plush couch, only to have Joshua push him back down.

"Don't move yet," he advised. "You're probably still sore. Here."

Joshua poured a glass of water from the pitcher sitting on the coffee table and held it out to Sho.

"Drink."

Sho gulped down the water without a second thought. Chuckling, Joshua began to pour him another.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Confused. Where am I?"

_And since when do I have a tattoo?_

"We call this place the Dead Gods' Pad," Joshua said, amusement flickering in his eyes. Joshua seemed to know something he didn't.

"Who were all of those people, then?" Sho continued his line of questioning. He was going to get to the bottom of this. He had a sneaking suspicion this boy held all the answers.

"They're your friends, Sho. Don't you remember?"

_I don't know him. Or this… Sho character. What exactly am I supposed to be remembering?_

Sho's glass rolled out of his hand as he suffered a sudden cringe, clutching his head. His mind grasped at a passing thread of a memory, but it was thin, and quickly slipped away. But he did see the boy, which meant he was telling the truth – about his acquaintances, at least. Joshua did nothing except leer during the memory gap.

"Yeah," Sho finally nodded after composing himself. "It's weird, but my memory's a little fuzzy."

"I think it might have been something you ate. Higashizawa did make that spicy chicken stir fry last night."

The name didn't ring a bell, but he found that he was laughing along with Joshua anyway. "That guy comes up with the craziest stuff. One of these days he's gonna kill me."

_Damn, did I hit puberty a second time, or what? I sound like I'm on 'roids…_

"Who would want to slay an adorable angel like you?" Joshua teased him, curling up on top of his chest. He traced one of the black streaks on his cheek with a suggestive look in his eyes.

"Eh?!"

Sho's shock was muffled by Joshua's demanding kiss. His first instinct was to resist, but something about Joshua's lips on his relaxed him. Sho slowly responded, wrapping a firm arm around his back.

It was all coming back to him now. Of course he knew Joshua – that was this kid's name – and everyone else. Why had he doubted himself like that? Just a momentary lapse of judgment, he supposed, letting the thought drift away and losing himself in the moment.

"Mmm, Joshua," Sho purred. "Why are you so… good at this… ah!"

Joshua broke their embrace temporarily to reposition himself over Sho's crotch, draping his arms around his neck. Stealthily he removed his cap, threading his fingers through the wild ashen hair.

"I try not to kiss and tell," Joshua giggled. He gyrated his body, reveling in Sho's breathy reaction.

"Joshua…!"

"I see that got your attention, my coy little lover. Or maybe, not so little…"

Joshua ground his hips to illustrate his point in case it went unnoticed. Sho moaned and practically tore at his shirt to remove it in his haste; the impatient Reapers outside had other plans for the two, however.

"Compooooserrrrrr!" Uzuki yelled. "Konishi's being a total bitch again! And Kitaniji just tried to grope me!"

"T-that is a lie, Composer! I did no such thing! She just wants your attention, like always!"

"And I am not a bitch! It's not my fault you're always so sensitive about things!"

"How else are you supposed to react to being called a cheap skank?!"

"Recruiting that witch may have been a mistake," Joshua mumbled.

"What was that you said?"

"Nothing!" Joshua chimed a little too brightly, but Sho was none the wiser.

"Why do they keep calling you Composer?" Sho grumbled, irritable at having the mood soured. "Sounds like a pet name, or something."

"It is," Joshua shrugged it off. "It's my pseudonym here."

"But why would you go by another n…"

Joshua sealed a finger over his lips. "I'll tell you later. Let's go see the others before they get any worse. And trust me, they do get worse. Much worse."

Joshua kissed Sho lightly, then rolled off of him and skipped to the doorway.

"Come on, slowpoke!" he waved. Sho smiled. The boy's enthusiasm was contagious. He wasn't too shabby in the looks department, either. Maybe he'd get a second round of their tryst a little later. He hoped so, anyway.

Teenage horniness aside, Sho couldn't manage to fully dismiss the mirage-like thoughts prickling at his mind. He was pretty sure random seizures didn't check out as normal, even more so when they trigged alien memories. He trusted Joshua… but _why_ did he trust Joshua? Just because was too flimsy of a reason. He felt like he had known him for forever, but had he really?

_I guess there's no point worrying about it now. I should ask the others about it when I get the chance, though, _Sho concluded. Joshua played a mean game of hard-to-get, so any information he got wouldn't exactly be forthcoming. It was too much of a hassle to contemplate anyway when he still had one killer of a migraine.

"Alright, hold your horses," Sho laughed, hurrying to Joshua's side. In his reassuring way, he linked his hand with Sho's.

"All set?" he asked cheerfully.

"Always am," Sho winked in reply, and they were out the door.

**to be continued**


End file.
